The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
