i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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