I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
