this just has baby written all over it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
