Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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