I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
