I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize