But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
