i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
