I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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