im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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