Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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