i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
