he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
