He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize