508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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