I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
