Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize