there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
