If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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