oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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