There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
