I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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