I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
