we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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