and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
