that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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