ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's shark week go big or go home
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
