i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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