I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
