Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
