I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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