Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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