Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
