There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
