Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need water and some morals
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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