I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
