hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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