sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
