The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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