I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
