Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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