I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
