Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
