I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Drake has all the answers
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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