You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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