you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
