drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
