i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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