She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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