Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
