I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
