My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
