chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
