I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
