once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
