It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
