He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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