You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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