ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
