So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
