i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize