I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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