dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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