At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
