Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
