just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
