Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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