CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
