How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
