whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
