I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize